|The guards at the Monastery|
Montserrat Monastery Train Station, Montserrat, Spain
Santa Cova Chapel, Montserrat, Spain
Eden, Iraq, Asia
|Hair Colour||Brown and Blond|
Rob Rackstraw (Shears)
They don’t look like they are here to help the tourists (or dumb tourists). By how they talk, they don’t care of anything else but prevent anyone from crossing that entrance. They’ll say whatever they need to say to keep individuals from peering inside the old building. Furthermore, they do probably have definite anger management issues.
Broken Sword: The Serpent's CurseEdit
After learning in Castell dels Sants a connection between some relevant places of Catalonia and “La Maledicció” that in a specific order show the location of the “Tabula Veritatis”, Richard Langham exposed now as Gehnen’s grandson takes Tiago Marqués captive. Langham now knows where the Tabula is located and plans to take Marqués with him to Montserrat. He leaves Nico, George and Eva locked inside the library with no way out. Luckily, George a secret mechanism which opens a hidden passage out of the property. Once outside, they all agree to travel to Montserrat’s train station to follow Langham’s footsteps and save Tiago Marqués’ life.
Already in the station they notice that the place, which is normally full of tourists, is completely empty but three guards on the Monastery’s main entrance. It is time for George to bring out the dumb tourist and gather some information on what is going on here. He tries to talk to each guard, but none of them tell why the Monastery is closed. They each have a different fictitious story to explain why there is nobody near the place. To George’s entertainment, he mixes every speculation so they keep inventing fake stories according to what George says.
After going through every possible conversation with the guards and not succeeding in crossing the Monastery’s entrance, they decide to look for other way in. Maybe there's some other way round via the cable car station or at least someone in there who can tell them what's really going on.
When they are approaching the station’s door, Nico notices that someone is coming and warns the rest to hide immediately. Richard Langham and his personal guard appear on scene talking about the Monastery. Langham instructs the guard to block everything off. Lock the whole place down and all the routes up to the Monastery. He is firmly sure that the Tabula has got to be up in the Monastery. He then orders the guard to make the old man (Tiago Marqués) talk and not be so gentle with him this time around. After hearing this, his daughter Eva decides to follow those two and try to slip through the old building on her own. Meanwhile, George and Nico take look at the car station.
One of the guards is seen grabbing Eva by his arm in Santa Cova Chapel while Langham deals with Tiago Marqués.
Later in the story in Eden, George notices a truck with the logo of “Wolfram” which means Langham can't be far away. Before inspecting it closely, he decides it’s better to locate its owners first. Wolfram thugs are waiting outside a recently opened cave not far from them. George asks Shears if he can do anything about the guards, unfortunately he has given up senseless violence thanks to Nico’s help. Now George needs to find another way to distract the guards and get where Langham is. By searching the back of the truck, he finds a knapsack full of military items. According to Shears, they are some of the explosives used by Langham’s henchmen to blast the hole seen in the rock face. Inside the bag George finds: a block of explosive, two long tubes wrapped in paper which can certainly look like dynamite, a roll of duct tape, some fuse wire, a sausage (someone’s lunch), and a battered old lighter. Despite Shears telling George otherwise, he isn't convinced that the sausage is edible. He knows it is a sausage, Shears knows it is a sausage. But one tiny length of fuse wire, and voilà. Passable for dynamite as long as nobody gives it a sniff.
After some thought, George has the great idea to use one of his best known nemesis to his advantage. He plans to distract Langham’s men with Donna, the malicious goat with pure hatred in its black eyes. Thanks to Nico’s help, he is able to duct tape the fake dynamite to the animal’s neck. By luring the goat with some ripe and delicious figs, George guides Donna to where the guards are sitting not before lighting the wire of the artefact. The goat begins to walk towards the men casually eating one fig at a time. As soon as she is close enough, they start talking about the cuteness of the animal when suddenly realize the powerful explosive and its imminent detonation. This makes the guards to get up instantly and run for their lives as fast as they can.
Moments later – Shears, George and Nico can approximate to the cave where supposedly Langham is now that his men have abandoned their position.
- Nico: “At least it's not monks with guns.”
- George: “Don't even go there, Nico.” (Referring to the events in BS4: The Angel of Death)
- George: “Howdy! Is this the way up the Monastery?”
- Guard 1: “Yeah, but it's shut. No one allowed in. The monks are, er... they're on strike.”
- George: “Wow. What happened? Someone make 'em work un-Godly hours?”
- Guard 2: “Sorry, we got a virus loose. Whole place is locked down.”
- George: “Those poor monks. Going on strike when you got a virus - that's the pits!”
- Guard 3: “Only VIP visitors. There is a foreign Prince inside.
- George: “The Prince of where?”
- Guard 3: “Yeah. That's the one. So we can't let normal folk in.”
- George: “Of course not. Not if the Price of Where is there.”
- George: “Did you tell the Prince about the virus? Your buddy said there was a virus. Did you warn the Prince?
- Guard 3: “Well there is no need. He's immune.”
- Guard 1: "Do you think the boss is coming out?" (In Eden)
- Max: "Dunno, and don't care. I was only here to blow a hole in that rock. Job done. Just waiting for my ride home."
- Guard 3: "Let's give him half an hour,max. This place gives me the willies."
- Guard 1: "Oh, don't be such a wuss. A few old statues? what could possibly go wrong?"
- Guard 3: "All right. Like you said. Thirty minutes."
- The one other time George does his great personification of a “dumb tourist with a southern accent” is when trying to get inside in the Vatican in Rome on the fourth installment, Broken Sword: The Angel of Death.
- George this time pretends to be from Austin and says that Nico and Eva are his pretty sisters. They supposedly fly back home that same day.
- ↑ Since the events that took place inside the cable cars in Montserrat Cable Car Station, Nico has been helping Shears to become a better man in search for forgiveness. Clearly, her Philosophy class seems to be working.
- ↑ Two large statues that represent the Assyrian deity called Shedu frame the cave’s entrance. The name refers to the male counterpart of a lamassu (female version). This creature has a winged bull’s body and a human head. Historically, they were often placed as a pair at the entrance of palaces. At the entrance of cities, they were sculpted in colossal size, and placed as a pair, one at each side of the door of the city, that generally had doors in the surrounding wall, each one looking towards one of the cardinal points. [Wikipedia]
- ↑ The lighter has a monogram on the front that reads: "Put your own personal monogram here".